Alot on my mind

For some reason I am feeling worn down.  In a funk, a dark cloud looming over my head, rain that won't cease, a Debbie Downer.  I even had the vision of myself tied down with a single drop of water slowly dripping onto my forehead in the exact same spot...what is that?  Some sort of water torture?

Torture...not a good thought.  It seems as though something is eating at me around every corner.  I have 5 millions thoughts running through my head constantly...groceries are low, water the grass, let the dog out, break up the fight between two kids, listen to Chayce's desires for a car she won't even be of age to get for another two years, laundry, dishes, cook dinner, make the bed, take the kids to do something fun on your day off...I could continue but I won't.

Hmmm, I should have named this post 'Venting part 2.'

This is the time of year that James works alot and I'm beginning to think there's a pattern to my madness here...he is gone and I am here...alone, 3 kids, all responsibilities left to me.

I feel like life is beating me up right now and crying REALLY helps but it's not enough.

I have been so grouchy, angry, impatient and irritable for about a solid week now.  (I really have, just ask my family.)  I'm tired of hearing myself so I can imagine how James and the kids must feel.  I feel like I'm having one giant pity party but I also feel like I have legitimate reasons for how I'm feeling.

I battled depression for a few years a while back, I remember feeling overwhelmed and weepy quite often.  I was treated for depression with medication off and on during those years.  I would start to feel better and think "I can do this, I can stop taking the medication now!"  It was not a fun time period in my life and I hope to never be that woman again.  I would get off the medication and then need it just a month or so later.  After about two or three years of that see-saw I was finally 'normal' again.  Well, 'my' version of normal anyway.  I have God to thank for that...my Redeemer!!

I need you God, I need to feel you near.  I want to feel your presence and I want to know that you are fighting for me, pushing all this wordly chaos aside so that I can be still in You.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed or hopeless?  Is there something that helped you move past it?

I would love to hear a scripture that has helped you in a time where you felt helpless.

Click on the link below...I cry happy tears everytime I watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA&feature=player_embedded