A Heavy Heart

Raising a child in today's society is not an easy task. Raising a Godly pre-teen is an even harder task. What do I overlook, what do I crack down on? Many times I feel I fail God and/or I fail my child...it seems like a tug-of-war and I can never get it right. Ultimately I know I am to please God at all costs. I was tested last week and I failed miserably, I failed God and I failed my child. I won't go into much detail, it's mainly about parents not having the same morals or values that I do and forcing myself to challenge this in order to create boundaries so that my children will know what is acceptable behavior in order to fulfill God's purpose in their lives. Sometimes this is challenging the system, it's going against what the world says is the norm, it's asking the questions that sometimes you really don't want to know the answers to. After I failed to act in the way God would have wanted me to, I had horrible guilt and a sick feeling in my stomach. How could I have been given the opportunity to rise above and fail so miserably? I stood there and then simply walked away. After sharing the situation with some special friends, I was able to re-group and face the situation with my child. I was prepared for a long, hard battle...the questions of why and why not? I was not approached in this way at all, but with an open, understanding heart. It's times like these when you realize not everything will be such a struggle. I think my oldest does actually realize that at times, the decisions I make are out of love...and when God puts something on your heart, knowing that she too wants to love and honor God, well...I guess I just put it into terms she could understand. It's also teaching her that when God puts something on your heart, the right thing to do is to honor it, even if it's not the "cool" thing to do. Thank you Lord for granting me the wisdom to seek the truth and to not allow the world to back me into a corner. I never want to compromise my love for You or for my children.

Dear Heavenly Father, I have failed so many times. Thank You for not turning Your back on me, but welcoming me home with open arms. Help me to extend the same grace to others that You have extended to me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.