Monday, July 29, 2013

Never leave things unsaid....

The death of a radio DJ shouldn't leave me feeling compelled to share my heart but today it does.  Kidd Kraddick passed away on Saturday at the age of 53 years old.  I grew up listening to him and until about 6 years ago, he was a regular part of my mornings. 

Once I started listening to Christian radio stations, turning back to secular stations almost hurt my ears.  I couldn't listen for more than 2 to 3 minutes without cringing at the thought of what my children just heard.  Don't get me wrong, funny stuff, adult humor but not a seed I wanted to plant in my children's ears and minds. 

Kidd Kraddick was a wonderful man with a servant's heart.  He gave so much to so many.  How many of us can say that?  How many of us can leave such a legacy, how many of us could say we changed someones life?

I'm sharing my heart today, so in the event I leave this earth a little early than expected, my husband and children have my words to come back to. 

I am horribly guilty of taking life for granted.  Guilty of not appreciating the people in my life, guilty of discontentment with what I have.  Life is a precious, precious gift and none of us are promised tomorrow. 

James, my love.  You are a wonderful man.  I am so mean and hateful to you at times.  I can be childish and pouty and I do not like myself once I realize that I am that way.  We have been together for so long, we've both changed in so many ways and in many ways we've grown up together.  You took on a broken single mom and brown-eyed a little girl, both whom just wanted to be loved and valued and taken care of.  You have done all those things and more.  I look at our wedding pictures and I see two young kids who didn't have a clue but took a chance on love.  Marriage?  Who knew it could be so rewarding and yet so challenging all at once.  You are so loving and affectionate...two things I love and admire the most about you.  You are a wonderful provider, you go above and beyond at work to make sure your family is taken care of at home.  You are passionate and determined when it comes to things you have a heart for, although at times it frustrates me, being passionate is a wonderful thing.  You were so supportive when I stayed home with our kids, even though it was a huge sacrifice for our family and added extra stress on you to stretch our dollar.  You were equally supportive when I decided to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a cosmetologist.  I know that all other roads I previously took led me to right where I am supposed to be, and that is with you.  I have never felt more loved, more accepted, and more beautiful than I have being married to you.  You have loved me at my best, my worst, my heaviest, my thinnest...through it all your love never changed or lessened for me.  I couldn't imagine doing life with anyone else but you.  I hope you know that I have never felt with anyone what I have with you.  I value and appreciate all you are and all you do.  I love you today more than I did yesterday.  Thank you for loving me, even at times when I know deep down that I did not deserve you or your love. 

You are my soul mate, my love, my muff.  Always.          

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